Bye Felipe
Bye Felipe is an Instagram account on which women share the hostile, vitriolic responses they frequently get from men they have rejected or ignored on dating apps. Alexandra Tweten started the account in 2014 after a private Facebook group discussion made her realize that she was far from alone, as a woman who had received insulting and often violent messages on dating apps from men after turning them down. Dozens of women posted screenshots of their own experiences. “I was like ‘wow! I thought I was the only one!’ said Tweten.
Her original goal was to make fun of men who became hostile after being rejected, and in doing so, empower the women who had received their messages. After the account was covered in The Atlantic, it gained about 25,000 followers in three weeks. (By January 2024, it had 426,000 followers). Once that happened, Tweten felt there was an opportunity for larger impact: “It was kind of like, ‘maybe I can use this to start a national conversation about online harassment against women. Maybe I could show other men what it’s like to be a woman.’ And also just giving women a voice to talk about the things that are difficult and make them feel like they aren’t alone,” she said. “I want to give women the upper hand. These guys are just trying to take women down, and I just wanted to flip the script. And at the same time make women feel better - turn the power around.”
Tweten curates the content but does allow those submitting to dictate the level of anonymity. In many cases, women chose to obscure the names or profile pictures of the men in the screenshots. But in other cases, they are left visible.
When deciding which submissions to post, Tweten says she tries to “have something that’s kind of funny,” even if that is just her picture caption. “I try not to make the Instagram too dark, because I don’t want people to get too depressed and then stop following it. The original goal was to make fun of guys who are assholes, so there has to be that level of comedy.”
